I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize