I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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