My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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