You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
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I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
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This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize