The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
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She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
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I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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