forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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