the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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