I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize