I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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