i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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