Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
pray to the hookup gods
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize