Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
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I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
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You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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