My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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