Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize