you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
false alarm, still single
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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