burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
she peed on how many people?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize