mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize