i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize