The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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