OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
he was CRYING into my vagina
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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