okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize