He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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