Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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