be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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