Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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