He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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