adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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