Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize