how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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