I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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