Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My brain says no but my pants say off.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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