you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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