I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize