He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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