drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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