Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
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