afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
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He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I didn't notice because vodka
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Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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