look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize