i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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