Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
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Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
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new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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