I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
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I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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