The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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