yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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