And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Randomize