ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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