there's paper in my vomit.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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