Having a random hookup so left but love u
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize