there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
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Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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