You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
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