Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize